I graduated from college today... and I don't feel any differenent. I thought I would be excited or sad or at least feel some extreme emotion, but I don't feel anything. I could be in denial, or I could just be totally at peace with where my life is going that I am okay with being done with this chapter. I don't really know which is the answer but I think it is probably somewhere in between.

I am usually not the type of person to post song lyrics as my feelings but this song is my life right now:

Waited all my life for this day to come
I feel like letting go, life goes on
Wasting no more time
So much to be done
Everything works out
So they say
Over my shoulder, it's tough getting older
Yeah, yeah.......

(Chorus)
Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

Here before my eyes, many roads ahead
Time for me to choose one way now
If I take a chance
What lies down the road
Feeling so confused, turned round
On and on, on and on
yeah yeah.....

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

Waited all my life for this day to come
I feel like letting go, life goes on
Over my shoulder (on and on)
It's tough getting older (on and on, on)
Yeah, yeah.....

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older

It really is tough getting older. Being a college graduate isn't all I thought it would be. But I am thankful for where I am, for what I am learning, for what I have experienced and come through, and mostly for the people in my life that matter the most. I have been blessed with the best friends...I love you!

So basically the only thing I did today was go to the Union vs. Lambuth basketball game, and it was worth every second. I cheered my heart out for the girls who ended up losing by two points because of a shot made in the last five seconds. And the boys game was crazy, but not as usual. There were no crazy Lambuth guys doing toe touches or the splits and grabbing their crotch as usual. And there were no skanky dancers as usual. It was fun...that's all. Oh, and then I watched Grey's and it was amazing. I love McDreamy and if Meridith won't tell him that she loves him...I WILL DANG IT!!!!

Currently Listening Daughtry By Daughtry see related

God is so good. Something amazing happened today, and it may seem like nothing, but it was so good for me. Lately things have been happening to me that require money. I have been talking to my mom about these things and for the most part she pays for them. But the other day I got a letter in the mail for something important that said I needed to pay them 200 dollars. My mom has been paying for so much lately that I did not want to ask for the money. So I waited a few days, but I broke down today because it's really important and I have to pay it. So my mom says well, that's okay because you don't owe money on your taxes like we thought you did and your nonna just sent you a check in the mail, it should be there tomorrow or the next day. So this was awesome. I am going to get a check from nonna. But there was something even better. Not 10 minutes before I called my mom I put a letter in the mail to my nonna telling her that I loved her and I was thankful for everything she has done for me. Weird huh? I was thinking a lot about my nonna last night and I couldn't go to sleep without writing her, so I did, and she is the one sending me some money. How great is that?

Well that's all for today, I have to go study for a test tomorrow...

Currently Listening A Grateful People By Watermark see related

Today I feel completely in God's will and know that he is blessing me because of my actions. My heart is full of joy and I feel like a new creation. Have you ever had one of those days? I mean, I had a long day and there was a lot to do, but at the end everything was perfect and it makes me want to live tomorrow with the same joy that I feel now. I know that God is taking care of the things I worry about and because of that I am no longer going to worry about them. He has a bigger plan than I can see and he is going to take care of me during the rough times.

On the RA team, us girls have been trying to get to know each other better and share our lives with each other. So we started thing question game where each week we are all asked the same question and we all give an answer. This week I asked everyone who the most influential person in their life was in the last five years apart from Jesus, or anyone biblical or their family. We had all week to think about it and the answers really let us see into each other's lives. One of my answers God gave me just today. One of the most influential people in my life is actually the absence of someone. I haven't had a spiritual mentor in my life since I came to college, and I haven't gone to a church full of old sweet ladies that want to get to know you, love you, and pour into your life.  Not having this has really made me grow up on my own and find my way by myself, and it has been good, but I still wish I had that person in my life. And then I realized that the church I have been visiting is full of those old, sweet ladies. And suddenly I am excited about going to church there and starting new relationships. God is so good, even when I am oblivious to what he is doing.